Go with the flow and hope for the best.

I used to have a personal motto that described my attitude in life: “Expect the Worst – Hope for the Best.” It was my way of dealing with the unpredictability of the world. It served me well. Until it was questioned by an external observer. I was told that it was negative and perpetuated my anxiety. I argued that it empowered and prepared me for events beyond my control.

Right and wrong are often irrelevant when discussing the intersubjectivity of perceptual experience. The way we experience life is dependent on our senses. If one is heightened or impaired it affects interaction with the external environment. Social skill is a sense that is supposed to develop in early childhood. Most people apparently do not have to learn it consciously. Autism is a state of being whereby that sense is said to be impaired.

In some cases, however, instead of a lack of empathy – we feel an excess. Instead of feeling nothing – we feel it all. Walking that thin line between everything and the void is the reason why autistic people tire swiftly in social environments. The way I learnt to cope is to express emotion through music and dance.

The following quote describes it quite eloquently:

“The music broke her apart and put her back together, only to rend her asunder again and again.”

― Sarah J. Maas, The Assassin’s Blade

If I allow myself to be driven by intense emotions then I will never be able to function. Music serves as a willing vessel. I listen to certain songs repeatedly. I realised that one common element amongst the diversity of my current list is that the songs are empowering. I stated in a previous post that music allows me to discover more about myself. “I feel a flow as strong as the ocean weaving its magic through my body and soul.” I cannot help but move to music – it feels good. In fact, if I force myself still for too long, I literally cramp up and have intense pain in my back.

The theory of mind that I support proposes that the mind is a nexus between the brain, body and external environment. There is ample evidence that various bodily functions are responsible for emotions, and that these emotions affect the external environment. Where do we draw the perceptual line? As far as one can perceive.

A theory of consciousness which I compliment with Rockwell’s nexus is a quantum-based theory that posits that the seat of consciousness exists within microscopic structures within neurons. These structures oscillate at a frequency that correlates to consciousness. Could this help explain why music is inherently emotional? Orch OR theory may also be able to help us understand qualia – the subjective experiences we relate to our perceptions.

It may very well be the case that the socio-emotional sphere of human phenomenology exists on a quantum spectrum whereby it is quite possible for emotions to become entangled. An autistic meltdown is where the maximum threshold has been breached. This often starts in the external environment.
Quantum supposition already exists in the social world. It is quite possible for people to perceive, feel and believe contradictory ideas, thoughts and opinions. People naturally gravitate towards like-minded others that reinforce cultural biases. The autistic are free from these constraints.

That freedom comes at a cost: the intense emotions we can barely understand. Neuroscience and psychology have contributed greatly to the understanding of the mind. It is time for philosophy to weave this knowledge into something much more than objective scientific enquiry.

Women were once told that science is a man’s world. Today women are leading research teams towards new discoveries on a daily basis. Intersectional empowerment will benefit everyone and leave no one behind.

My inspiration is the beauty of humanity’s protentional. We all have within us the protentional to be better. Dance can only be achieved through practice. There should be no shame in practising navigating the social world.

Questions on how the mind perceives the senses are not required if the mind is an emergent property resulting from the senses. The important question is how do we define when a mind is broken?

I am inspired by the fight for empowerment and equality. Research conducted by neurotypicals classify autism only as a disability – one that requires curing and preventing.

The aim is to demonstrate that my existence was not a mistake.



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